Steps to manhood

June 3rd Begins my explore to manhood. National Service (NS) is a must for all Singapore male citizens and i'll begin my this coming June 3rd Friday. I am still not ready, physically and mentally not prepared to endure this hardship, but with my little baby girl and my beautiful wife in mind, i will do fine.

It's been nearly a month, this one month of resting and enjoying time with my family and friends before NS, which is most enjoyable and yet painfull as i have to leave them for 2 years of training. It's for the better, i know but i have not settle my family down with expenses cover nor confirmation of my future and walk to path of manhood with no idea for my future.

Wishes undone and Dreams too far to reach, knowledge comes painful with age growing with time that passes like light. Catch them fast and young and you will understand how to manage your short life to the max enjoying all the good things life have to offer to us.

Things like catching the stars maybe be possible for the next generation. Lifes of the future generations must be better than of the present. Parents endured with hardship not telling their next generation keeping them in the dark not knowing beams light will slowly slip in and lead them to truth.

History repeats itself, light is found, the next generations suffers.

Regrets, regrets and more regrets

The date of my enlishment is near. From the day of graduation till now i have done nothing but sit in front of my PC. Not much to say about what i have done for this week but most of it is with my baby girl. Playing and being with her, searching for new anime or series to download and watch.

I really missed school days, regrets i haven't did well, regrets i've gotten married so young and messing up 3 lives, regrets i didn't treasure things i did now, regrets things can't be the way i want to be now, regrets getting a diploma before going ns. So much regrets but none of it can be resolve until i finish my ns and formally shape my family future with bare hands. Point is now i'm old and i have a family, i can't continue studing and waste my child's future. What important now is putting food on the table, and rising the living standards of the 3 family that i have to look after.

Time flys, i was once a ignorant young boy living a carefree live, till the day i faced with life of a adult and future of a child, i realise "my life was almost wasted", if i had live the life of that ignorant young boy till the age of 30. i will have a mountain of regrets. I guess i'm lucky, my wife acknowledges my stupidity and accepting me as her husband. I guess it's hard taking a stupid husband that hasn't planned for anything for the last 20 year, as the person who she will live with and bare a beautiful baby girl for.

Oh lord have mercy on thy child let thee have knowledge and courage to face the hash real world and bless thou with the strenght not to give up even if i have nothing to give or offer for thy child's present and future, thou sincerely seek forgivness of thy lord and acknowledgement that thy child will have a meaningful and enjoyable life ahead.